chatting

Well that date with Veronica was a bucket full of fail. I don't even remember the last time I was that drunk. I talked to her online the next day and she made some wise ass cracks about my behavior and I tried to play it off and tell her I was only feeling like that because I didn't eat prior to drinking. She was cool about it I guess but since then I haven't heard much back from her and I am pretty sure I lowered my value big time by doing that stunt. We have chatted a little bit back and forth since that last conversation and now she is out of town for business so I have a funny feeling that I may never see her again. I think I turned her off with my drunken self and now I have learned a valuable lesson about drinking too much on the first date

The good news is that I have been talking to some new girls and things are going well. Once I realized I had essentially blown it with Veronica, I decided to go and message a whole whack of new girls because new girls are constantly joining this online dating site every week so that is a good thing for me being a single dude. I sent messages to a wide variety of girls with a wide variety of ages and stuff. So far I have got back some pretty good messages and there are a few girls who are clearly digging me, I just need to spend less time playing poker and more time talking to these women and nurturing things along so I can finally take them out on dates. There are 2 girls that I have already progressed to talking to me on MSN instant messenger. One girl is named Suzy and the other girl is named Karen. They are both quite different.

Suzy is a mechanic at a garage. Yes I know that sounds terribly odd and sounds like the kind of job a lesbian would have. Normally if someone told me that they worked as a mechanic I would run in the opposite direction in a heartbeat but this girl is insanely hot and it really makes no sense at all. She obviously is not quite as feminine as I prefer but she looks really good and I am willing to try new things and see what she is like to hang out with. This is one of the things that I have learned dating these girls online, that you have to meet them in person to really find out if there is any potential compatibility. I wouldn't be surprised if this girl is bisexual. I am not sure why I am saying that, I guess because she is a bit masculine but she says she is really into guys but I got a feeling she likes chicks too which would be fine by me if she wanted to have a threesome or something with another girl, I would be totally down with that action. She is 29 years old so she is the right age but she seems more mature than 29 well I guess what I am saying is that she looks older than 29 in a good way but she acts kind of young and immature. I certainly don't blame her, she said she has 4 brothers and also she works all day in a male dominated environment so it's perfectly understandable.

Karen is 27 and she works in a store that sells high end linens. I am talking about bed coverings, and sheets and towels. Stuff like that. She is very feminine and girly. She has like perfectly manicured nails and her hair always looks awesome and she wears a lot of makeup and wears classy yet provocative clothing. She is totally the opposite of Suzy and I think that that is a good thing because now I get to try both girls and see what I like. I think that most guys think they know what they want, they think they know what they like, but then they meet someone who isn't quite what they had in mind and yet they totally are into them. I guess men are superficial when it comes to preconceived notions about women but when it comes right down to it, they are more interested in personality than physical appearance just like men are. I think that the media fills our heads with what the ideal women looks like and then we get hung up on those images because we are such visually dominant creatures. Anyways she said she was in a long term relationship that last 5 years and she has only been single again for 3 months and hasn't dated anyone yet but she thinks that I am cute and sweet and said she would be willing to go on a casual date with me so I am going to take her out this weekend.

I met a new girl named Christy and now magically I am in better spirits. No big mystery here man I mean I think I might be bipolar or something cuz sometimes I am really up and sometimes I am really down. At both ends of the spectrum things are really intense, maybe I am just an extremist. It seems like I can never find true happiness from within. It seems that I must always have some external event to look forward to in order to feel happiness. All of the books that I have read about the topic of meditation tell me that you will never find happiness from external things and that basically if you base your life in this fashion you will never be happy. I have tried lots of the stuff I have read in these books but I am unable to find a quiet zone in my head. I think it might be because I have exposed myself to so much visual stimulation over the years or rather that I have trained my brain to be used to receiving lots of data constantly and so now it craves that amount of stimulation and goes nuts when it is deprived. I think I would benefit from traveling to Africa or something so that I can just reconnect with nature and disconnect myself from the electronic prison that enslaves me. I suppose that this is all part of human evolution but sometimes when I look at it objectively it seems like perhaps we are headed in the opposite direction. How can it be evolution if we are destroying our environment and making it easier for human beings to kill one another? How far can the evolution of weaponry go? Eventually we will nuke ourselves and that would be the end of evolution so that is all I am saying on that topic right now. I am one of those hopeless male souls that find refuge in women. I find that most of life is pretty boring and unsatisfying but the strange scent of a woman can immediately make one feel like there is hope and reason for being alive again. Last night I watched the movie "Killing Zoe" and even though I have seen it multiple times before, this time I realized how tragic of a story it was because I forgot that the main French character has AIDS.

Christy works in a factory downtown where they make canned peaches. Ok maybe she doesn't. She actually works in a meat packing plant of all places. I know it sounds weird I mean would you go out with a girl that worked in a meat packing plant? Most girls that work in those types of places are big fat hairy lesbians (no offense to the big fat hairy lesbian meat packing workers). Of course she is the exception being young and hot and well most of the guys there are constantly hitting on her etc. She is tall in fact she is 5 foot 11 and I am only 1 inch taller than her, not that I have had a chance to actually stand toe to toe with her but hopefully soon I will be able to when I am about to kiss her

So far I have only been chatting with her online over msn and she said she doesn't have a webcam but I have seen pictures of her in her profile and also she sent me some different pics over msn of her from recent and she looks pretty good. She has been single now for about 5 months. The last guy she was with was a Marine and he got sent to Afghanistan so they broke up before he left. Her boyfriend before that was a truck driver who was also an amateur body builder. Are you seeing the pattern yet? She is into big strong manly dude type dudes which I am not. I mean I'm not some scrawny looking nerd, I am in pretty good shape, but I am no hulk. Perhaps she is looking to try something different now in terms of the guys she is into. All I know is that she seems to like me and said that I looked cute in my profile pics. I am going to pursue her and I have a date lined up with her for tomorrow night. I just hope I don't get beat up one day by some massive disgruntled exboyfriend.