I met a new girl named Christy and now magically I am in better spirits. No big mystery here man I mean I think I might be bipolar or something cuz sometimes I am really up and sometimes I am really down. At both ends of the spectrum things are really intense, maybe I am just an extremist. It seems like I can never find true happiness from within. It seems that I must always have some external event to look forward to in order to feel happiness. All of the books that I have read about the topic of meditation tell me that you will never find happiness from external things and that basically if you base your life in this fashion you will never be happy. I have tried lots of the stuff I have read in these books but I am unable to find a quiet zone in my head. I think it might be because I have exposed myself to so much visual stimulation over the years or rather that I have trained my brain to be used to receiving lots of data constantly and so now it craves that amount of stimulation and goes nuts when it is deprived. I think I would benefit from traveling to Africa or something so that I can just reconnect with nature and disconnect myself from the electronic prison that enslaves me. I suppose that this is all part of human evolution but sometimes when I look at it objectively it seems like perhaps we are headed in the opposite direction. How can it be evolution if we are destroying our environment and making it easier for human beings to kill one another? How far can the evolution of weaponry go? Eventually we will nuke ourselves and that would be the end of evolution so that is all I am saying on that topic right now. I am one of those hopeless male souls that find refuge in women. I find that most of life is pretty boring and unsatisfying but the strange scent of a woman can immediately make one feel like there is hope and reason for being alive again. Last night I watched the movie "Killing Zoe" and even though I have seen it multiple times before, this time I realized how tragic of a story it was because I forgot that the main French character has AIDS.
Christy works in a factory downtown where they make canned peaches. Ok maybe she doesn't. She actually works in a meat packing plant of all places. I know it sounds weird I mean would you go out with a girl that worked in a meat packing plant? Most girls that work in those types of places are big fat hairy lesbians (no offense to the big fat hairy lesbian meat packing workers). Of course she is the exception being young and hot and well most of the guys there are constantly hitting on her etc. She is tall in fact she is 5 foot 11 and I am only 1 inch taller than her, not that I have had a chance to actually stand toe to toe with her but hopefully soon I will be able to when I am about to kiss her
So far I have only been chatting with her online over msn and she said she doesn't have a webcam but I have seen pictures of her in her profile and also she sent me some different pics over msn of her from recent and she looks pretty good. She has been single now for about 5 months. The last guy she was with was a Marine and he got sent to Afghanistan so they broke up before he left. Her boyfriend before that was a truck driver who was also an amateur body builder. Are you seeing the pattern yet? She is into big strong manly dude type dudes which I am not. I mean I'm not some scrawny looking nerd, I am in pretty good shape, but I am no hulk. Perhaps she is looking to try something different now in terms of the guys she is into. All I know is that she seems to like me and said that I looked cute in my profile pics. I am going to pursue her and I have a date lined up with her for tomorrow night. I just hope I don't get beat up one day by some massive disgruntled exboyfriend.
